Destiny And Self-Control

In life it is always wise to learn to control yourself. Self-control or lack thereof can change the course of your life for the better or worse. Life is about working hard, enjoying your success, while making smart choices for the betterment of yourself and those around you.

Not everything that happens in life was meant to happen and it is a concept some do not understand. Often times people say or write the phrase “everything happens for a reason” but not everything is God’s plan. God gives us all free will and with it the right to make our own choices. However, choices have consequences and not just for us, those around us as well.

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Many people have damaged their destiny due to lack of self-control. The person who cheats on their significant other and loses the love of their life due to the aforementioned lack of self-control, has altered their destiny (and that of their significant other) with a regrettable choice that broke another person’s heart, not to mention, their own.

Promiscuity is another dangerous choice that destroys people. You see it a lot  in the entertainment industry, where stars sleep around with many people and in the process develop sexual problems, hang ups and dysfunctional behavior that leads them into trouble and sometimes incurable STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).

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Entertainers having sex with woman after woman, sometimes two or more at a time, in what is destructive, ungodly behavior, is emotionally, mentally and physically unhealthy. To those choosing this path, it becomes a lifestyle that brings them and others heartbreak and pain.

The irony is they don’t remember the names of many of their sex partners, but end up losing the love of their life over their rampant promiscuity and cheating, in deeds that are counterproductive and harmful. This creates long lasting heartbreak and regret that is preventable.

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Promiscuous people end up destroying their relationships and marriages, causing themselves and others tremendous emotional pain and suffering.  That is not God’s plan for anyone’s life. Sex was not meant to be abused in this manner. How is God’s blessing supposed to properly flow in your life when you are going around using and discarding sexual partners like meat, breaking people’s hearts and causing them pain. You are doing people wrong. This is not the way to treat people and God sees the tears you cause. Let that lifestyle go. Commit to one person.

The person who gets drunk, goes behind the wheel of a car, then crashes into another person, resulting in serious injury or death to another motorist or civilian, has made a poor choice that was not God’s plan for anyone. In the Bible people drank. That was not the issue. What is frowned upon is getting drunk and with good reason. When one is drunk, one is no longer sober or in control of one’s faculties, making one susceptible to harm and the error of engaging in destructive conduct not beneficial to anyone.

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In this world, women and children have been sexually assaulted and raped. That was not God’s plan either, as the Bible says not to do these things. Much like the good book is against murder, as it deprives another human being of their life and creates early bereavement for their loved ones.

God can forgive these sins if people pray for forgiveness. However, it is best to live an honest, decent life, where you are mindful of your choices and the impact they make on you and others, to minimize damage. Be a blessing to people. Don’t use your free will to set a bad example, break hearts, ruin lives and damage yourself.

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Don’t be reckless with your choices, operating under the mindset of “everything happens for a reason” or “what will be will be” as this thought process can manifest itself as negative, careless choices, damaging your life and others.

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Be Careful Who You Have Kids With (The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree)

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Marriage is an important step in a person’s life. It’s a big milestone that is a blessing. One should always choose one’s mate wisely, especially where becoming parents is concerned. We’ve all made mistakes in life. The key is to recognize our mistakes, learn from them and not repeat or pass them on to the next generation.

When you choose a mate, who will become the person you bring children into this world with, make sure they are of good character. Genetics is strong. I’ve read legal cases regarding parents and children, who did not know each other, after being separated via foster care or adoption, yet went on to commit the same crimes their parent did (including robbery, assault and or murder). The new guardians did not know the history of the adopted children’s parents in each case and which warning signs to watch for and work against to break the cycle, then genetics took over.

On a lesser level, men want beautiful, virtuous daughters, yet impregnate women who are unrepentant nude models that have sex with many men (and women) some even engaging in prostitution and escorting on the side for money. Genetics coupled with the bad example that has been set and reinforced as the way to get ahead in life, will have a major impact. Then, when their daughters become promiscuous at a young age, even selling their bodies for money and drugs, some also posing nude as their mothers did, their dads are heartbroken and devastated to the point of tears. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Women lust after promiscuous bad boys, who are disrespectful and constantly in trouble. Due to the fact you’re really young, you think he’s a hot rebel. Then you have kids with him and your sons knock up young, underage girls and get into other forms of trouble in their teens, giving you grief, embarrassment and heartache. Once again, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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As much as one parent may set a great example, sometimes the other parent setting a bad one is the one that gets through and destroys the child’s life via following bad, unethical advice. You have one parent telling the child to be good and not steal, then you have one telling him take whatever you want in life and play people. Then they end up in prison for robbery, theft or worse.

There are women who train their daughters to seek out and sex rich men for an allegedly easy life, rather than teaching them to get an education and use their minds to work hard for what they want in life.

There are men who train their sons to be violent as an alleged symbol of manhood. Then when they kill someone and end up in prison, hearts are broken and many tears shed.

There are men who set a bad examples for their sons, by cheating on their mothers right in their offspring’s presence. They flirt with and try to date other women right before their kids’ eyes. It becomes a negative template for their children’s future behavior. There are men who tell their sons they should have sex with many women as a sign of virility and manhood, then when their sons catch serious, life altering sexually transmitted diseases and pass them on to others, they are heartbroken.

Just so that same bad advice from dads lead sons to cheat on their wives and wreck their lives and those of others. Broken families result, with kids growing up with issues and complexes from said marriage and relationship troubles of their parents.

There is too much emphasis on instant gratification in society, causing impressionable people to look for shortcuts and end up in serious trouble. What you think is a shortcut now, often leads to a dead end. Be careful of your choices, as they have consequences.

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If you plan on bringing children into this world, don’t think who their parents are won’t affect them. Make sure you choose wisely. Make sure you set a good example.

Do not choose someone who will set examples so bad your child will be at a moral, educational and spiritual disadvantage. Do not choose someone who will insult and belittle your child, making them feel worthless and not capable of doing well.

Do not choose someone who will teach your daughters to think using their bodies to get what they want is okay. Do not choose someone with a lax attitude towards adultery and or using men to get ahead, because when those sins pass on to a second generation they become worse (and so on and so on).

No one on this earth is perfect, but choose someone you are attracted to, in love with, who has a strong sense of right and wrong. Someone who will instill the proper principles in your future offspring, such as the virtues of decency, hard work, loyalty, faith and striving for excellence. Someone who will instill the best in your future children and teach them from they are young and even as they grow older, that they are special, loved, wanted and a winner. Someone who will teach them they are capable of greatness and hold the ability to do well in this world.

At the end of the day, looks aren’t everything and most of all they fade. Character lasts a lifetime. Choose wisely.

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Clinging To Relationships That Are Not Meant To Be

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Relationships can be tricky. People will see blaring red flags indicating something is wrong, but trudge along a path of disaster, having convinced themselves they cannot do without the person. However, the fact of the matter is, no one is irreplaceable in a relationship. You can get over anyone, especially someone who is not right for you.

If you are married, pray for God’s help with your marriage problems and try to work things out. Marriage is a commitment and sadly sometimes due to infidelity, people end up very heartbroken and devastated. Couples have worked through infidelity and other problems. Therefore, it can be done.

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However, if you are single and seeing red flags regarding a relationship, it’s time for you to take a step back and evaluate exactly what you’ve gotten into and how you can get yourself out of it, before it wreaks anymore damage on your life. Some relationships aren’t meant to be.

Some of you are completely stuck on looks, with the attitude, where am I going to find someone better looking. There’s more to a relationship than looks. If that’s your sole reason for dating someone, you are headed for trouble (looks fade).

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Don’t be superficial. Sometimes the prettiest packages hide the coldest and most evil hearts. Yes, you should date someone you find attractive, but having that as your sole basis is dangerous. Find someone you deem attractive, who also has a good heart.

You have to watch a person’s speech and behavior. If all they talk about is money, what they want or what they want you to get them, that’s not healthy and a sign of bad things to come. If they exhibit terrible tempter tantrums, especially when they don’t get their way, that’s someone you’re going to be doing a proverbial balancing act around, walking on egg shells, miserable and afraid you are going to get on their bad side.

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There are some women who will cling to men over money they have or they think they will earn, knowing full well they don’t love them and stick around until the money is gone, then leave. Some women use men, but God sees, hears and knows all, including the intentions of a person’s heart. There’s a price to pay in life for using people in that manner, duping them into thinking you love them, whereas someone else would have genuinely loved them if you were not digging your heels in seeking to take all you can get from them.

Relationships are to be  based on love not money. Anything less is a travesty and mockery of love. You reap what you sow in life. If you are dating someone or are engaged, make sure it’s real and for the right reason, which is love. Money should never be a motive for marriage.

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I’ve turned down men of means for the simple reason I was not in love. Some men you view as acquaintances or friends whose accomplishments you’re proud of, but you know in your heart it is friendship and not love and you leave it at that. Women and men all deserve someone who truly loves them and vice versa.

If the man you love is not rich, you need to realize that’s his financial state and the two of you should try to make it together. Money is not everything. It pays the bills but does not bring happiness.

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Pregnant Sudanese Woman Meriam Ibrahim Sentenced To Death By Stoning And Hanging For Converting From Islam To Christianity Gets Last Minute Reprieve

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Meriam Ibrahim and her husband Daniel 

Meriam Ibrahim, the Sudanese pregnant woman who was sentenced to death by stoning and hanging for converting to Christianity from Islam, continues to be harass by the local government. After global public outcry demanding she not be put to death and be freed, judges in the Sudanese court stated she may give birth to her child first, then face death by stoning and hanging.

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Meriam Ibrahim, her husband Daniel and their son

As international outcry grew, especially on social networking, where many condemned the actions of the Sudanese court (I called for sanctions against them on Twitter) they relented and freed Ibrahim, only to arrest her once again on false charges they’ve trumped up. Ibrahim was freed again on bail and took refuge in the U.S. embassy in Sudan. Ibrahim’s husband, Daniel, is an American citizen and she should be allowed to be with him in America. If Sudan does not let her go, the government should face serious financial sanctions.

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Meriam Ibrahim and her newborn baby

I am a Christian, have been my whole life and no matter what, will continue in the faith (Christianity). However, I understand others have the right to religious freedom and can practice whatever religion they choose. This should be a right in every nation and one that is not infringed by others, with people being threatened with death over their religion.

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The Power Of Prayer

May 31, 2014

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Prayer is powerful. By God’s grace miracles have happened to many who have told stories of the great things God did in answering their prayers. I can attest to this. I’ve prayed for sick people, some who were on death’s door, even administered last rites and God graciously answered and they did not die.

I believe prayer is important. God is never too busy to hear the cares and concerns of your heart. Praying for guidance is also important.  There are so many important decisions to make in life and praying for guidance regarding things such as who to date, marry, what job to take and what city to live in, among other things, is important.

God can open the right doors for you and close the wrong ones, if you pray for guidance. If you have no peace in your heart and soul about a decision, it is probably for a reason. Pray for God to guide you into making the right choice lest you make a choice that  isn’t what’s best for you.

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Famous Married Couple Says One Of The Key Ingredients For A Great Marriage Is Sex

April 30, 2014

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Michelle and Bob Duggar

The reality show couple, the Duggars, shared their secrets for a successful, loving 30-year marriage. One of the main secrets is sex, sex and more sex. Apparently, as they have 19 children (LOL). The talented Christian family is headed up by Bob and Michelle Duggar.

Michelle Duggar stated on the Today Show, “Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls.”

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In short, don’t deny each other sex. Some women use sex to get what they want and refuse their husband when they do not get their way, but the Bible illustrates it is not a good idea/principle, as temptation can creep into the marriage and cause problems if one or both sexually stray as a result.

Some have the wrong idea about how Christians view sex, based on their own preconceived notions. Sex is for procreation AND recreation in a marriage. God created sex for people to bring children into this world. However, he also created it to be a bond between a husband and wife. There’s nothing wrong with being uninhibited. Your sex life is between you and your spouse and you should seek to make each other happy. Nothing can take the place of love.

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Michelle Duggar shared tips for “keeping your marriage sexy

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The Difference Between Love And Lust

March 17, 2014

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Being what is known as a  “celebrity blogger” as well as a musician, you read, hear and often witness inside items regarding relationships of stars. Some celebrities are of the faith, but let lust overrule their hearts in choosing the right mate. There’s a difference between love and lust. Love gives, lust takes.

I read the story of a musician who years prior had met the lovely woman he would later marry, but he overlooked her in favor of wild women who had a certain look, who didn’t care about him, just wanted his money and fame and ended up breaking his heart. Those women took and took from him and when things went wrong with his career, abandoned him.

He was distracted and lost focus with the wrong type of women that the industry told him he should be with, for a guy of his stature and it cost him so much. However, God knew all along what was best for him and he met the aforementioned lovely lady again, they began dating, got married and have kids. He needed her in his corner. She understands him and his life and was able to help him rebuild his career.

Then there’s the story of an unmarried athlete, who fell in lust with a superficial woman based on her looks. The good looking athlete who grew up poor, has self-esteem issues and he never thought he’d be able to get a woman who looks like that. Being new to fame, he began dating her for a couple years, while she tried her level best to drag him down the aisle in marriage, determine to get at his modest, but burgeoning bank account.

The whole time she was calculating how much money he was beginning to earn and would earn and how much of it she could get, though he was not a millionaire. However, his career hit a snag and he didn’t become the wealthy man she thought he would and she dropped him. He was stunned and devastated.

He had believed her lies. However, the signs were there all along that she was a materialistic woman leeching off his fame and growing bank account. Her social networking pages were all about material things she wanted, but he didn’t realize she was viewing him as her meal ticket.

She used his name to get free things and into events. She cockily posed with him in photos she posted to her social networking pages in a way that didn’t indicate love via body language, but more “look at me.”  She was feeding off his fame. When a woman is truly in love her body language is different.

When they broke up temporarily, she had sex with different men behind his back. He only resumed the relationship because other men began pursuing her and he thought he couldn’t find any better, but anyone can do better than a gold digger waiting in the wings to take everything. While he was away working, she also cheated on him.

However, when his career hit the skids, she abandoned him, in search of someone rich. He saw her true colors, but not before it cost him a woman he had actually cared about who wasn’t the glamorous type, but is pretty. She went off with someone else and it broke his heart. His mother never truly took to her, sensing that one day she would hurt her son and she sure did.

The moral of the story is to choose from the heart. Looks fade. Inner beauty and true love never does. Be careful you don’t lose the one who is best for you, over pursuing the one who looks best to you.

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Have You Been Overlooking The Right One For You In Favor Of The Wrong One

March 17, 2014

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Some people are beautiful on the outside and inside. However, there are many beautiful people in this world…who have ugly hearts. To fall in love with a gorgeous person who is selfish, self-centered, money hungry and superficial will bring you misery in life.

Make no mistake, if you choose someone superficial and or money hungry, they will hurt you. They will conceal it long enough to get what they want from you financially and when you are no longer able to give them what they want or they get what they wanted, your money, they will leave.

When people are young they sometimes value the wrong things in life in terms of what they are searching for. That man only searching for a pretty face. That woman only looking for a handsome man. They choose the wrong one based on looks and end up hurt when the relationship falls apart. Meanwhile, the right one for them is passing them by.

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You’re not going to find the right one holding on to the wrong one

God brings people together, but sometimes people don’t pay attention, due to superficiality or being tangled up in relationships God never intended. I’ve read stories of people who met or came into contact with the right one for them and overlooked the person for superficial reasons, such as not being hot enough at the time or having little money, while others didn’t want to be tied down, seeking to sow their oats via promiscuity, only to end up with the person years later, after breaking their heart with the aforementioned disloyal and insulting behavior.

By chasing the wrong one for them, wasting their time and energy on people God never intended them to be with, they lose months and years with the right person for them, while causing them emotional pain with what is unfaithful and disloyal behavior. Then the relationship has baggage and hurt they try to fix, when being real, genuine and faithful could have spared the one they love so much emotional pain.

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Holding on to the wrong one will cost you the right one

Some look for the wrong things in a soulmate and it leads them astray and into heartache. They made assumptions about the person who was right for them, without truly getting to know them, passing them over for others in relationships that were dead ends, resulting in heartbreaks.

For example, the man who looks at a woman and assumes she is boring and unadventurous, only to later find out she is exciting and fun to be with. The man that chooses a woman dressed provocatively, over the woman whose attire is more conservative, incorrectly makes the assumption the tramp will be more loving and is the better choice, when often times it is not so.

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Wasting your love on the wrong one

The woman that looks at the somewhat nerdy man and chooses the hunk over him, not realizing the nerdy guy is the one who may treat her better, makes the wrong choice in judging by appearance.

Judging a book by its cover has misled many and as a result, they missed out on a great person and ended up with the wrong one. You can’t look at people and make assumptions. You don’t know what’s under the exterior or in their heart, until you truly get to know them and see their character in play.

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Paying attention to the wrong one, while overlooking the right one for you

I recently read a story about a woman and a man who God had brought together years earlier. They both overlooked each other and got tangled up in heartbreaking relationships that caused them so much emotional pain. Neither of them married, going from relationship to relationship, until a woman at their church reintroduced them to each other.

They got married and have been happy for years. You could see God working in their lives from the start, but they failed to pay attention to what God was showing them, regarding their compatibility and as a result lost years where they could have been happy together as they are now. Don’t let that happen to you.

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Waiting For Someone Who Isn’t Waiting For You

February 28, 2014

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In search for one’s soulmate, some have made the mistake of waiting on people who are not waiting on them. They sit on the sidelines and watch as their love interest dates someone else, with the hope one day they will begin dating them (sometimes they do, but it is still insulting that you were considered second or third or fourth best).

You should not wait for someone who is not waiting for you. Don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t put yourself through that. You deserve better and more than that. If someone doesn’t love you enough to be with you, making you their love, don’t waste your time or tears on them, waiting while they date someone else. Don’t torture yourself like that. Find someone who will make you the priority. Find someone who will treat you well and as number one, which is what God intended.

There have been cases of people who were ignored in favor of others, then afterwards were pursued by the person they were in love with that was dating someone else at the time, who then  became upset when the individual they treated as second best found love with someone else. If you ignore someone in favor of others, you really have no right to be upset when they move on.

Treat people how you would want to be treated. You would not want someone dating others, having you wait in line until they felt like getting around to being with you. It lacks humility, conscience and compassion to treat another human being in that manner. No one deserves that. 

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Many Christians don’t engage in premarital sex and some have encountered people who want them, but want to engage in sex with others, but want the Christian person they are interested in to save themselves for them, while they play the field.

How is that fair or right. You’re not waiting, but believe you are entitled to someone else’s virginity. Some even get upset when the Christians they wanted but did not wait for sexually, go off and marries someone else. Many have told of their regrets at losing the one they love over not wanting to commit.

To lose the one you love over random flings is sad, but you cannot ask of people what you are not willing to be subjected to in any measure. It really isn’t fair. You wouldn’t want that done to you, so why do that to someone else. Put yourself in their shoes, would you want that done to you.

Many have regretted the aforementioned mistakes of youth, because at the end of the day, they don’t think about the people they had flings with, but the one they loved and lost. I’ve heard and read old men state with regret losing that love of their life for cheating and wishing they had been smarter with their choices when they were younger.

The average person is only young for a short time in comparison to the rest of their life. Don’t make poor decisions in your youth that set the tone for the rest of your life, causing you to lose the one you truly love, who is best for you.

No one wants to be treated like second best. Being young is no excuse. People should never settle for others who do not treat them with love, loyalty, dignity and respect. Don’t settle for anything less than true love. To those who try to outsmart and play love, you’re going to lose the one you love the most.

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The Perils Of Dating Or Marrying Outside The Faith

January 31, 2014

Be Careful Of Relationships And Love Interests That Lure You Away From The Faith And God’s Blessings

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Falling in love can be a powerful thing. Sometimes you think it’s love, when it’s lust and infatuation wreaking havoc on your hormones and emotions. Some are so taken with how their love interest looks, they overlook blaring problems in their relationship.

Most people want to date and or marry someone they deem gorgeous, as physical attraction is apart of love. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, being pretty on the outside, but ugly at heart is not good or desirable.

Some relationships are not of God. People sometimes try to force relationships that God never intended. All the signs are there that you two are not compatible and there are significant differences, but focusing on looks, you overlook serious flaws.

God is sending you warning signs that there is trouble ahead, but you’re not paying attention, trying to make something fit that was not meant to be. Stop trying to make a dating relationship work with a person not of the faith that God never intended you to be with.

The Lord would not put you with an unbeliever or someone trying to lead you into another religion. God would not give you someone doing that. As a dating principle, the word of God instructs, “Be not mismated with unbelievers.” This means not dating and or marrying people who are not of the Christian faith, as it is a Bible principle.

There are many examples of believers who have fallen in love and gone off with people who are not Christians and it led to heartbreak, trouble, contention, strife, regret and them straying from their principles and beliefs, to their own detriment.

God put his blessings over your life, do not jeopardize that over a good looking face, with a faithless heart. That’s not God’s plan for your life. God would never do that, as it goes against His word (the Bible). You’ve been lead astray by physical attraction. That’s not real love.

What seemed passionate and exciting at first, becomes a nightmare when the non-Christian you are dating then marry, starts disrespecting and belittling your beliefs and discouraging your hopes and dreams.

Significant problems will arise when they start asking you to compromise what you believe (to suit them). And don’t think you will change them, because you won’t. It will not end well.

Some of you are dating people not of the faith, whom you will marry and they will end up leading you away from the faith and straight into disaster.

God has loved you since you were born. Do not abandon the faith over a pretty face or handsome man, as looks fade, but what’s in the heart never does.

In 10-years (or less) their looks will begin to change (as does everybody’s) and you will be in a marriage that is supposed to be for life, with someone you are not compatible with and the very thing you married them for, their looks, have begun to fade.

Make sure you marry a Christian and one you are truly in love with. To do otherwise will wreak havoc on your marriage and life. When you love and are compatible with someone,  bonded by the faith, even as time goes by, you will still love them. That love will grow. These are the marriages that last.

What happens when you marry a person not of the faith and they try to take over your life and change you into something you are not, wanting you to become something you are not comfortable with. Do you know how aggravating, distressing and upsetting that has been for Christians who have experienced this.

What happens when your faithless significant other tries to raise your children as atheists, to their detriment. What happens when your significant other of another religion tries to raise your children in that religion, rather than Christianity, to their detriment.

The word of God indicates all roads do not lead to God. Are you willing to risk your spiritual well being as well as that of your future children, by marrying someone not of the faith, who will unquestionably try to change your beliefs, offending God in the process.

How will you feel when the person raises your children as unbelievers, instilling pessimism and lack of belief in your offspring. What about your future children’s souls. You should want better for your future children. A life of hope and faith, rich in love, is priceless. It nourishes the soul.

It is and will be the source of arguments and contention, causing you unnecessary pain and frustration in life, all over a physical attraction to someone who is at odds with your faith and the God that made you.

Anyone who would lead you away from the faith doesn’t care about your beliefs or soul nor do they respect you as a person. God would never put you with that person. You are in lust and it is clouding your judgement.

What happens on the other side after you leave this life. What will you tell God regarding having left the faith over an ill-fated relationship He never intended. If you have left the faith, I encourage you to return, as once again, the Bible indicates all roads do not lead to God (only Jesus).

If you are in a dating relationship with a non-Christian, I recommend you end the relationship. It’s going to lead you down a road of regret, as many have found out the hard way.

Pray and ask God to send you the one He intended for you and to confirm it to you in your heart and mind. God does have someone for you. He knows who you are most compatible with, who will compliment you and bring out the best in you. God knows who you will be happiest with – the person who is your ideal mate.

However, God is not going to force His plan for your life on you, as He has given you free will. Choose wisely, as it is important to your life and soul and future of your family.

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